You just need conviction in your decision, as theres no legal problems.. see this post: http://bok498a.blogspot.com/2008/04/legal-position-of-bigamy-adultery-vs.html (also see two reports about a similar situation of actor Pawan Kalyan).
Bigamy(IPC 494: http://www.vakilno1.com/bareacts/IndianPenalCode/S494.htm) is only if someone can prove that u r married(example: if you are a hindu; as per Hindu Marriage Act)- so don't marry... so no proof of marriage possible....simple, keep/take no photos of any ceremony distantly similar to marriage, or create any marriage record. Just live with ur friend for life, theres a word "companion" gaining respectability in even Indian cities, anyway if u don't care a damn about society, all this is no bodies business. But be wary of IPC 493, which says that if u induce a belief of marriage in a lady, when u are only cohabiting, thats chargeable with IPC 493(http://www.indialawinfo.com/bareacts/ipc.html#_Toc496765386 ,10 years max boss, so be very sure about ur companion!, else its back to battle again, but thats no big deal for u all now, right?;)
As far as Adultery(IPC497: http://www.vakilno1.com/bareacts/IndianPenalCode/S497.htm ) goes: Only a husband can sue a suitor of his wife, if this suitor knows that this lady is married and has no expressed consent of the husband to get close to his wife!- so its funny, its saying wife can't get a husband punsished for adultery(only husband can frame his wife's suitor. not even his wife!), plus this law actually points towards threesomes!!!. So give a F&$K to the law and in-laws and get ahead if it suits you.
Basically it all boils down to your conviction and how afraid u are of society- which never helped or shielded you from harms way when you really needed that(in case u r not convinced that much about ur decision to go ahead and live with ur companion). So y give a damn about the so-called society, show them ur middle finger and walk tall and straight ahead where u wanna go.
Why I explained this in detail is that after 2-3 years most of the elders in the family are worried silly about getting boys(or girls for that matter, but we don't have to empathise with those law misusers, right?) married(to see their grand children play before the end of their days, as the popular concept in India goes). So its important to pacify those worried parents and senior citizens and show courage by taking you life into ur hands, and either decide 1) not to marry(just ensure that u are sufficiently amused and live an interesting life however it suits you- but yes, take care and use protection), 2) not rush to marry, or 3) if u find someone and are fairly confident that shes not the garden-variety-498a-girl(u can't be 1000% sure anyway, but these are the risks u have to assess and own-up) just start ur life dont wait for god to really appear before you- just understand that he has provided with just enough loop holes for u to survive and have a fulfilling life.
So the message is that live the life you want to, don't ever be limited by any restrictions either imagined/imposed by self or projected on to you by others- believe in the infinititude of human mind.... where theres a will, theres a way... period. Come on legal hassles are not Greek and Latin to u guys now, u can in fact be consultants in 498a issues, so do what u wanna do, "IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING"(quoting a sports company's catch phrase).
BTW, if someone wants the exact ways and means to proceed as above, I have a "template"(like the advocates have the false 498a complaint template) which can be shared in Private(but guys someone tell me how to create a password protected folder or page in the web, else I will be most probably spending all my time replying to your queries in this regard, so please tell how to password protect a webpage or folder- A word file should work, but any more intelligent solutions, so that it won't be misused much(not worried about this much, since I have stopped fretting about being morally correct and stuff like that) and that I don't get into another soup!... not that I mind it , but for now, I would like to devote 100% of my time to send the misusers packing to where they deserve to be).
I know this realisation would be a great relief and reason for reformation to many. Swarup is one walking talking example of such a guy, and he is not alone , that population is increasing(thanks to the law, we are being made stronger and invincible). I will leave you with a thought provoking and pragmatic quote "The supreme act of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting!" . So live anyway, but fight only if warranted.
Also read this post:
2 comments:
Hi Abhi,
If u have taken enough pre-cautions while getting into the 2nd innings, this may help you to get divorce and closure of 498a. Since the 1st will see the vanity in pursuing the cases(if u haven't left any ammunition for her to take up against bigamy- basically leaving proof of 2nd marriage for the 1st to use against you). The 1st could still try poking you with cases of adultery and bigamy but those don't have legal validity(as explained in http://bok498a.blogspot.com/2006/08/impossible-is-nothing-dont-let-your.html )
I would have been in your place but the 1st wife quickly realised that its waste of time not giving me divorce since I had made my 2nd inning plan public, and I got a mutual consented divorce the very next hearing(the divorce case had been dragging for 2+ years till then). The only differences between urs and mine might be that you are in US Iam here, plus the counter cases against them had put them in tigh spot(they were trying to please me by facilitating a quick 'free' divorce, hoping that I compromised on the counter cases later- which I didnt).
I won't say that this strategy is fool-proof, it could well back fire if the girls family decides to rake up issues by...(let me not give spies in this group some direct ideas). You can see that this strategy is not a one-off thing, when you look at Telugu star Pawan Kumar's unofficial second marriage, the 1st wife has been unable to hurt him using bigamy, etc.
The moral is that informed risks have a better probability to payback, but the risk takers should be ready to get their hands dirty if they are dragged into another round of court cases. In ur case u r in US, as u correctly gauged "There should be a reason for a Man to come back from US...don't you guyz think so---"
"Sometimes" 2nd marriages can be more 'strategic' than 'needed/desired' :), even if one is India. All the best, don't worry life is anyway a battle field, a couple of battles this way or that way shouldn't bother anyone - just do Karma, without seeking the fruits.
regards
Gokul
Re: I got married for the second time........
Posted by: "sureshram"
Wed Apr 30, 2008 8:30 pm (PDT)
All the Best.
You know there were some of our other members who use go to family
court along with the new Women. If fact some got her introduced to
the 498a girl.
It is the best stratagy to combat 498a girls.
I think you have guts and your parents are practical
Wish all the best. Great man
--- In saveindianfamily@ yahoogroups. com, Abhi wrote:
>
> Today....... ...
>
> With my 498A still in the Court.......
> And with out a Divorce!!
>
> Would see if my First Wife(Wolf) can do anything about it!!
>
> There should be a reason for a Man to come back from US...don't you
guyz think so---
>
> Now--my Lawyer is saying that even my 498A will come to an end
after the Witch knows about this---the same guy was trying to stop me
from getting into this marriage a week earlier.....
>
> I am so sure that even the Witch will come to understand that she
has lost forever and ever after this!!
>
> Guyz--Please wish me good luck with my new Wife and Life!!
>
> God Bless!!
THE MEN TORTURED IN THE HANDS OF WOMEN/WIFE
NOWADAYS men are tortured in the hands of women by misusing newly formulated laws specially designed only for women. The law makers fully forgetting the constitutions article 14 which says all men and woman are equal before law or say equality before law. This article 14 giving equal strength to man and woman but formulating new law for women so for no law formulated by the law makers for men. Why?
A fine case of one Mr. Rathinasabapathy who was married with Rajeswari of Howrah at Pondicherry on 4th June 2003 started their life initially at Pondicherry latter after five months shifted to Bangalore where he was employed. The husband arranged job for his wife and he had given her all possible freedom which include to visit her parental house, to wear the dresses she feel convenient. But his all these freedoms and love showered towards the wife resulted in one fine day with hand cuffs of iron. Do you believe? YES THIS IS A TRUE STORY. The husband who once tried his best to keep his wife happy meted the cruelty by the same women. The husband arranged all physical mental pleasures for his wife but not fulfilled one demand which is affecting his parents, unmarried brother and sister. The wife demand for separate dwelling that too in such a place the language of which is a strange thing to the husband and leaving the old aged sick parents here all alone was not welcomed by the husband and which only resulted in iron hand cuffing like a herded criminal and lying in illegal custody for eight days.
The wife and her parents even not intimated him the child birth and somehow when he come to know the child birth he requested to send a snap of the child which was also not heard. For the new born the father send some gift which was also returned by the wife and her parents. Their cruelty reached at Himalayan peak when she lodged a complaint using the weapon of dowry and domestic violence act (DVA) and several other criminal section against husband and in-laws, the in-laws who never interfered her life. The question is if she really met cruelty by the hands of husband and his relatives why she had not opted to file a complaint in the jurisdiction police station which was only in walkable distance. She opted to file complaint in the Howrah police station and filed a divorce under section 13a and succeeded to get an expartee decree within 3 months of filing which is very impossible as per marriage law. The husband had not given time to file counter or for a counselling. When husband was attending for maintenance case and came out of the court he was arrested and handcuffed and remained in the custody for eight days and ninth day presented before the judicial magistrate and then kept one day in judicial custody and latter bailed out. The wife atlest shown curtsy by not opposing the anticipatory bail of in-laws.
The women how she forget the sweetness of togetherness, how she forget the sweet face of her husband which is now also in front of her in the form of child.
THE MEN WAS CRUSHED IN THE HANDS OF WOMEN. The men who is a M.Sc., M.Phil., earning sufficiently was now staring the sky with no hope for justice. His parents are weeping and sister, brother still in a stage of shock.
The reward paid by the wife to her husband is the only result of misusing of newly formulated laws. The court at Howrah which have no jurisdiction neither to try the suit for divorce nor for the criminal offence as the couple married at Pondicherry and last resided place at Bangalore, where both of them were employed and as such alleged offence held in Bangalore. So the decree which is passed by the Howrah Court is improper and the complaint also liable to be quashed. But these all will happen in future.
Wake and do something for men otherwise similar trouble tomorrow you also have to face. For this not only togetherness of men required but the togetherness of women also required.
Thanks,
M. Rathina Sabapathy
9894669932
sabapathy68@rediffmail.com
Pondicherry
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